Sparky

It turned out that Dr. Barken had reached out to my mom a while back to try researching me and my siblings. I wasn't having that. Then she would turn out to be my new doctor. I was still on Topamax, and I had starting a new job. I LOVED my job. I was working for an online school for adults, and I was in the financial aid department. I was a very sparky co-worker, I made the office lively and entertaining! I was also such a smart ass. Everyone thought I was hilarious. Let's be honest, I'm pretty funny.

I finally felt like I was serving the common good. Making sure that these students, even though they were adults, wouldn't make the same mistakes I did. There were A LOT of students that I would talk to in a day. There was one student I had talked to a few days in a row. I was trying to help with her financial aid. I had been told when I started that job, that I might cry. I laughed, I was much tougher than that. Or so I thought.

This student had called the next day and I talked to her again. This time, I didn't know what I was talking to her about and what I was talking to her the day before. I was trying to get more info from her, then she laid it on me. She started to get frustrated and then said, "Is there something wrong with your brain or what??" Oh damn. The issue we were trying to figure out for her had to be done with my manager anyway. So once I transferred her, I headed to the bathroom.

I wept like a baby. I mean WEPT. I looked in the mirror for a while and finally accepted that I couldn't keep pretending like nothing was wrong with my memory and my seizures. I went back to my desk. My boss could tell I was upset. I looked at her and said, "No I didn't break from the pressure, she asked if there was something wrong with my head and I have epilepsy." There it was, I finally let work know.

I had my first appointment with Dr. Barken. She is an incredibly brilliant doctor. Thank God she had a medical student with her. She would start speaking in this super high intelligent language and I would just look at the medical student to translate. The translation was that MY gene had mutated somehow. Since I had been on so many medications and not controlled, it was time for my first VEEG.


In the end of August through the first week of September I looked like this. Super hot right? The goal was to determined if I would be a candidate for the VNS (Vagus Nerve Simulator).

Here, you can read about it to get more depth:

VNS Info

In summary, it's a device that looks like a pacemaker. It goes in your chest, and these leads go to your vagus nerve, I just say my neck area. It's supposed to be very effective to those who do not respond to medications alone.

I was supposed to stay until I had a grand mal, but my brain wasn't stressed out enough. I was only having absence seizures like I had never felt before. I had been checked in for just under a week. My absence seizures were back, to back, to back. Eventually, I had a breakdown and was throwing up and crying. I was done, I was so done. So I got to go home. Going home meant a new medication. Depakote, round two.

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