Did Nana See?

In March 2015, I was being tapered off of Depakote and onto Onfi...it was okay. I was also taking Meloxicam for pre-arthritis, Ativan for my cluster seizures, and Tramadol for my straight up pain. As time goes by, those medications take a toll on your body. I was 30, and I moved as if I was in my 80s. But that's another part of the package.

My VNS was being increased. I was sounding like the Christian Bale batman when my VNS would go off. There was a definite strain on my vocals and what I felt. It was so frustrating and sometimes I would end up with a hoarse voice or not one at all the next day.

My absence seizures were worse than they had ever been. I was having 100+ absence seizures a day. Laundry was even hard labor. I was so frustrated and annoyed. But there was one person I could never ever be annoyed with. Nana.


My Aunt Maine (Saint Maine), was Nana's caretaker. Maine is my paternal Aunt. Nana had been living there for a while. My Aunt and Uncle made sure Nana was fully comfortable and had everything she needed. They put in this wheel chair elevator thing on the back porch to get Nana out of the house when she would go on visits. I had fun using that elevator.

Maine had called to see if I wanted to spend some time with Nana while she and my Uncle went out of town. I absolutely wanted to! I missed my Nana!

It was August 2015, I had my appointment with Dr. Combie (P.A.) to adjust my VNS and my medications a few weeks before. Do you see where this is about to go?

Saint Maine and I. I was so excited she actually let me
take a picture of her with me. She doesn't do pictures

After the surgery, I just hadn't been the same. My brain, believe it or not was just worse off. I knew it was going to take time but holy shit did it take a major left turn.

Here we go. August it's just me and Nana. We had just had some ice cream together. She was ready for bed. For whatever reason, Nana was having such a difficult time getting out of her chair and I was very concerned about the fact she was struggling like that. Yes I was helping her move, she was 93. She kept saying "I'm sorry Lovey." It was my special name from her. Another favorite.

She was finally able to get the strength to get out of the chair. We made our way to her room. We went through her bedtime regiments. She told me goodnight and how much she loved me. Gave Nana a big smooch goodnight and went back to the living room not far from Nana's room. As in I could hear her just fine from where I was. I didn't sleep well. I kept checking in on Nana and just wanted to make sure nothing odd was going on. Well, wrong person to worry about, my absence seizures were letting me know I didn't get enough sleep.

The next morning, Nana and I had breakfast. Her nurse, Monica, was scheduled to come in for Nana's bath so we just kicked it in our pj's. Something wasn't right though. My absence seizures were going crazy and the length of them was getting longer. I was stalling big time. I called Joel. I told him what was going on and he told me I needed to call my mom to have be there with me.

My Aunt Marg and me. It was our family reunion,
the tag isn't so I can remember her name

My parents are about fifteen minutes from both of my Aunts. My Aunt Margaret was supposed to be coming by to get a list for some groceries. My mom gets there. My Aunt Marg gets there. Monica gets there for Nana. Lucky me! I mean that seriously.

I was bitching about my absence seizures and how bad they were. I sat down and grabbed my crochet stuff (Yep, I'm one of those people) and started to crochet with my mom next to me. Well...Hi paramedics! I was better at figuring out what had happened. I just thought oh shit. I looked to my mom and said, "Did Nana See?" The answer was no. I was so relieved. Then here she comes around the corner in her wheelchair with Monica. She was just smiling at me. I smiled back at here like nothing had happened. The paramedics are just some of my friends here to visit, they forgot to change their clothes.

Here is the what we missed part. I made that horrible sound, my mom looked over and got me down on the ground. First off, my mom has one of the worse backs. But, when that adrenaline kicks in, she can move 190 tensed up pounds to the ground like it's nothing. Also, why is it that every time I have a grand mal I'm in some dangerous situation?? Driving, scissors, crochet sticks.

My mom had my Aunt Marg call 911. Now Marg has seizures at night and is controlled, but she's also never seen one. So this was new to her. The 911 operator was confirming the address, Marg was getting frantic, something like yes that's the address can we get some damn paramedics here?? Something along those lines. Monica, grabbed Nana's oxygen tank and put the oxygen on me. Very chaotic.

I had to go to my parent's after that. Nana time was over. She called to check on me a lot that day.

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