Here's today's quote from strokeofgrace.blogspot.com
YOU CAN'T SEE IT, BUT I CAN
DEFINITELY FEEL IT.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,
BUT IT'S WHAT I KNOW...I DEAL WITH IT ON A DAILY BASIS.
YOU EITHER THINK I'M LAZY OR YOU FEEL SORRY FOR ME, BUT I'M STRONGER THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW. I FIGHT EVERY DAY. I DON'T WANT YOUR SYMPATHY--
I JUST WANT TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT. I WANT TO FEEL BETTER.
I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE.
You guys get a break from my voice, just not my face! I became very philosophical today. I sound ridiculous on video when I get deep in thought. That quote sounds like something you would read in a domestic violence pamphlet. See I'm covering up my black eye with my sunglasses (no, not really).
***I am not belittling domestic violence, it's very serious***
Let's paint a picture of the comparison. Put yourself into this little play we're going to have. Your significant other's name is Epilepsy. Gabriella and Epilepsy are in the middle of a huge argument! One of those arguments that wakes up all of the neighbors. Then they go stand on the edge of their yards and a few of them have phones waiting to call the cops.
Epilepsy is up in my face and I'm in Epilepsy's. We started throwing some blows at each other. For 25 years we've been going at this. After this argument, I was just worn out. Epilepsy was still ready for more. I told him, "Look, I don't have the energy to fight with you like this anymore. We're getting too damn old for this. I think we should go to Couples Therapy."
There we are sitting in the lobby of the therapists office. I look at the pamphlet and see that quote. At that moment our names were called. We get into the office and the therapist has us read our lists about what our partner has done to us.
Epilepsy goes first. He starts reading; "My partner: has yelled at me, tried to push me away, and tries to get rid of me with pills."
Long ass list isn't it. Stupid mutha...
Doctor asks me to go next. "My partner: broke my nose, made me self conscious, hurt my head, scraped my body, knocked me out, weakened my bones, made my joints and muscles sore, has messed up my nerves, has made me weak, has made me scared, has made me tired, makes me emotional, has bruised me, has cut me, makes it hard for me to breathe, makes it hard for me to hear, and makes it harder everyday." This was only part of the list, in total mine took about 30 minutes to read.
Epilepsy was so mad and embarrassed. The therapist confirmed what I already knew. Our relationship was toxic and full of pure abuse.
Epilepsy is what you call a 'batterer,' the 'abuser.' They don't like using the word 'victim' anymore. I'm not anyways. I just put up with his shit, day in and day out. That makes me stronger than him. The therapist gave us a list of workshops to go to. Epilepsy didn't want to hear about it.
We went anyways. He thought we would NEVER EVER be able to get a divorce. He was attached to me, down to the nerves of my brain. A couple of the workshops let us know of a few options to let us go our separate ways. Nobody wanted to see us together. Nobody ever did.
It was the first time I realized that this relationship has been abusive the whole time. When you meet Epilepsy, you don't even understand why this relationship started and hasn't ended. It's like an arranged marriage, except you don't grow on each other. Epilepsy is one of those crazy partners that puts a GPS on your car, while following you in their car, and calls you 40 times a day.
Not everyone has the opportunity to divorce Epilepsy, but if it's even an option you do whatever can be done to make it happen. Epilepsy will never treat you how you want from that quote. Epilepsy is the reason those quotes are made.
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