There's no crying in softball either. By the way, I'm fully aware that UCLA was knocked out of the World Series. They're still my team, and they still have 12 titles. I was determined to go there and play softball. Full scholarship for sure. See they took a picture of me with my jersey and everything! Who am I kidding? You guys have read the last 25 years of my life, you would have noticed if I had played for the Bruins. I've only talked about my athletics briefly. I'm going to do it again. Kind of. Softball was what I was born to play. There were major concerns after I was diagnosed. However, I was a catcher, how much more protection did I need? The shins were safe, the goodies were protected, my face was shatter proof, and my noggin was bullet proof. Actually, I'm positive that a bullet could go through my catcher's helmet.
Softball was one of, if not THE greatest outlet after all this shit happened. I was actually encouraged to be a beast; well a bitch. Twelve years old, and I'm cussing out my teammates for picking effing flowers in the effing outfield. Yes, I said the uncensored version. A lot. I was a scary mother effer. It wasn't just that I was mean, I had this presence. I don't think it was just the seizure meds and frustration alone. I am Italian. Just in case you haven't picked that up, 32 posts later.
I was good. I was damn good. For a while. Absence seizures can cause you to get a strike, forget to get out of the way of a bad pitch, and miss blocking a bad pitch. I could play through an injury, an absence seizure didn't give me the choice. It just made me look ridiculous.
I knew after my Sophomore year, that my career was over. I had the perfect set up. I would be the starting catcher my Junior year. Since we couldn't afford private school anymore, my dream of going to UCLA was gone.
Going to a new school is hard enough. This was my third transfer now. Our catcher was in the position I had at the private school. She was the starting catcher and one of the best I had ever seen. Our coach was awesome. He knew about the epilepsy after I made the team. He knew the skill level I had, he just had to put me somewhere. He put me in the outfield.
Being an outfielder has been severely underrated through the years. As a kid, you were put in the outfield because you weren't good enough to play the infield. When you get older you realize it's importance so I was still happy with that. What I wasn't happy about was feeling so naked and unprotected without my gear.
If I were to have an absence seizure in the outfield and get smacked in the head or face, it would be bad. Fortunately this didn't happen. What did happen though on several occasions is I would be in the outfield ready to go. Wham! Girl hits the ball right between first and second that drops and rolls towards me. I was very good at running up on those and crow hopping a beautiful throw wherever it needed to go. The time that I should have started running up on the ball, I was just standing there for a few seconds. Those few seconds are crucial to be able to have a good starting run up on the ball before it gets too far into the field.
Again, I looked like a fool.
After High School and College, I desperately wanted to get back into softball somehow. While I was living at my folks, I was able to help Alyssa on the things her coach couldn't. Same with Maria. I realized that I would make a great coach. I became an assistant coach for a High School near our old house. I loved helping those girls learn new skills and improving on the ones they already had.
During some of their warm ups though, I seemed to be a target of overthrown balls. It's certainly not the cause of how I started to decline, but I don't think it helped. It didn't matter. I had found something I loved again. It was like reliving the old days, except I was going to be the awesome coach that helped their careers, unlike mine. I wasn't just making sure their skills improved, I also made sure that things going on in their lives were okay. If I was able to help them with something, I would. If they were down I had them laughing. Most the time they were just laughing at my smart ass jokes. They let me know I was their favorite throughout the season.
Sadly, I was only able to coach one season. We made a ground breaking improvement with a new coaching line up. I was so proud to be included. I hope that with all of this testing, and whatever the outcome, that I can coach again. And hopefully, I'll get to have a little girl that will want to play
softball too.
I'm on a little vacation so I'll post some new stuff Monday. Don't miss me too much!
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